The Portland Mercury is local weekly newspaper that is distributed in - you guessed it - Portland Oregon. It is something I looked forward to reading, every week when we lived there, and now I pick one up whenever we go into town, if for no other reason than to see what concerts are coming up. So little goes on where we live that we often try to plan our Portland trips around musical or theatrical events.
About a month ago I came across a contest in the Mercury, called HUMP! 2009. People were asked to enter their amateur adult movies for the chance at a $2000 top prize. There were no categories to speak of but there were lots of chances for extra-credit, none of which we took advantage of. I went through all of our stuff and came up with the strangest/most entertaining five minutes I could. At first I thought of sending in something that would show our brutal side but I quickly realized that this was not the attitude of the people throwing the event. They were looking for sexy, funny and not-too-outrageous, and I guess I can understand since they plan to publicly show these videos to an audience that will supposedly help pick the winner. I think it would shock the shit out of people if we sent in five typical minutes of me brutalizing MY CUNT. It would be sexy, but just a bit too much for average, beer-drinking Joe and Jane.
So, I found some light-hearted and catchy music and then edited the footage I’d picked, to go with the tune. It turned out pretty good, although I doubt it’s a contest winner. My hope is that the disappearing anal hook will stick with people even after they’ve seen everything else. You’ll have to watch the video to see what I’m talking about.
I don’t want to put the video here, on our blog, because it’s nearly 5 minutes long, but you can go see it on FetLife – www.fetlife.com/users/55981/videos/2614 Stop by and check it out!
And don't keep your fingers crossed, because that could get uncomfortable, but do wish us luck.
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A couple of months ago we did a shoot with a rather talented photographer, Peter Schmidt, of humon photography. www.humonphotography.com Here are some of my favorite shots from that day.
No, I'm not spelling it incorrectly. It's "humon" with an "o' and not "human" with an "a". Just so you know I'm not crazy, and giving the wrong person credit.
You can reach Peter by e-mail: photos@humonphotography.c o m
We'd like to thank Peter for making us feel very comfortable, and for taking some amazing shots. We'll be sharing more with you very soon, which means Mr. humon photography is going to get another free bit of advertising from us. The results of our shoot with him make it well worth it.
Thanks Peter!
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I wanted you to wake up today, to words of love. I wanted you to read something so deeply romantic and profound that it would carry you through these next few days that you face, without me by your side. I know that sounds overly dramatic, but I also know that it’s pretty close to the way you and I perceive this unfortunate situation. You are getting through this time apart, just like I am, and it really doesn’t help that today is our anniversary. My words are not magic, and they never have been, but I know that the things I wrote to you when we were first falling in love were very real and poetic. I wanted to conquer and own you with my words, even if it wasn’t going to be possible in any other way. As it turned out, we managed to conquer one another, and it had so little to do with our words in the end. But that is all I have right now…
I am in love with an amazing woman, and have been for the past three years. She has shown herself to be a strong, beautiful, intelligent, consistent, humorous individual whom I respect and adore. Three years, and it still feels like we’re still in the “honeymoon phase”. Three years and I still get excited when I hear her come home. Three years, and I am still very unhappy when I have to be away from her for more than a few hours. Three years and I am still hungry for her every day. I’ve shoved my cock in every hole, thousands of times, and I still can’t get enough. How romantic!
We say “I love you” so many times throughout the day, and I know it is heartfelt every single damn time! A few hours away from each other is okay but a few days apart is torture, and there’s no denying how weird and pathetic that seems, at this point in our relationship. Shouldn’t we be just a little sick of each other by now? Can’t you be just a little more annoying or something? Maybe nag me a bit? There is something truly extraordinary about being able to spend SO MUCH time with someone and never grow tired of them. It’s freaky, is what it is. And that’s us…
This is not going to be profound. It’s almost 9 a.m. and I don’t think you’re going to get much out of me. What I really need to say, you hear every day. What I really need to express, I’ve already said more times than I can count. I love you MY SWEET. I miss you MY LOVE. I adore you MY ALL. I will see you soon MY EVERYTHING.
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MY LOVE writes:
***What is it about distance that intensifies the pain of separation? I spent 5 days in PDX taking care of my mom after knee surgery. It was difficult and I missed MY MAN terribly, but somehow the fact that he was only 3 hours away made it more tolerable. Right now I am in upstate New York shooting with PD at “The Farm,” 3000 miles from MY MAN. We have talked, shared text messages and emails, but it feels so much more difficult to comfort myself. He can’t get here in a few hours. The little things we share every day – hugs in the kitchen, his hand caressing my neck in office, a kiss in the hallway as we pass each other – my god I miss them!
We are definitely sick. Sick in love. What I would give to feel him next to me right now.
Perhaps the gut-wrenching romance novels I read as a child aren’t so foolish after all. My heart hurts and the tears come easily.
I need my other half.***
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Here's a recent request that we declined to do:
"Hi there I have a video request for you to consider. It's basically one woman pushing and pressing her hands into another womans soft belly fat. The deeper the pushing the better, also do it both fast and slow. The belly should also not be flexed, it should be relaxed so that her belly can be pressed in as deep as possible. With that said its important that her bladder be empty or it may make the experience a little uncomfortable. I think this is best done with the girl laying flat on a bed and definantly on bare skin. The belly sould not be too skinny, better if there is a little bit of tummy fat. One hand ontop of the other and pushing on the center of the belly for maximum effect too."
This is another one of those that really doesn't have much resale value. The person that requested this will buy it, and maybe one or two other people if we're lucky, but that's it. Everyone else will just be wondering what the hell it's all about. I know it's got me wondering. What is arousing about what this person describes? Very strange...
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