2012-05-18T08:06:54Z ORL Inc. Copyright 2012, ORL Inc. SPHPBLOG


Three days ago I sat down and began two new songs, one of which has already been uploaded to my ReverbNation store: www.reverbnation.com/557021108k I think I can also set it up for sale on Facebook, so I’m going to look into that. I know most of you don’t particularly like the songs I create, but I hope you’ll give it a listen anyways. It may not be to your taste, but you have to admit it’s unlike most things you’ve probably heard.

The second song may take a little while to finish, but I must say I am thrilled to be back doing this sort of thing. I am so caught up on the clip sales that I can afford a day or two working on my music before I have to hang it up and go back to taking care of business for a while. Being creative is so very important to me, and with my weekly DJ gig gone, doing these blog posts is about the only other chance I get to experience that. I actually get a rush (something akin to getting high I suppose) when things start to click together and the music takes shape. It’s exhilarating, which is why I would love to do it for a living. To just sit down every few days and pump out a new tune, or work on a video for an existing one, would be a dream. It’s one I don’t want to completely give up on.

The sun has been shining, the days are beautiful, and being back to work isn’t a completely horrible thing I suppose. Working during the day, and only having a fifteen-minute commute each way has helped a great deal. I’m not totally exhausted when I come home, and can still get some “other” work done. Tomorrow I will be putting up more Gordon Denman photos on our site, so you have that to look forward to at least.]]> http://www.ruinouslove.com/blog/index.php?entry=entry120516-195334 2012-05-17T00:00:00Z 2012-05-17T00:00:00Z

Working in any adult venue, you generally find out a bit more about your customers/clients than the average person would during their daily grind. This is not always a bad thing, but not always a good one either. As I mentioned while chronicling kinds/types of people I regularly encountered while working at porn shops, the customer that shares too much can be an outright bore. Under the right circumstances though, you can not only learn a few interesting things about your customers, you can be that one person in their life they can rely on to be discreet, understanding, non-judgmental and genuinely interested in listening, offering advice and helping out whenever possible. I am proud to say that I knew the deepest, darkest secrets of some men and women – things so twisted, depraved, and downright “wrong” (in their minds at least) that nobody else in their lives knew the truth. Not their family, friends, lovers, spouses… just me. It was an honor I took seriously, and kind of got addicted to. Getting someone to open up and tell me the truth became my reason for going to work, which I suppose isn’t a horrible thing considering the industry.

Growing up, there was this joke about a man forced to purchase hemorrhoid cream for his wife, only he found it such an embarrassing task that he gethered additional items in the hopes that the cream would sort of go unnoticed among his pile of stuff at the register. Over the years, I saw the same sort of thing happen when it came to a certain kind of video rental. For the longest time, cross-dressing/transvestite porn was very expensive and seen as highly taboo. Renting or purchasing a movie meant admitting you were into at least watching something that most people found disgusting, perverted, wrong – choose your descriptive word. What I saw men who wanted to rent she-male porn do, time and time again, was very similar to the joke about the guy buying the hemorrhoid cream. They would approach the counter with a stack of no less than 4 DVDs – usually 6 or 7 – and lo and behold the one at the very bottom would be a she-male/transvestite/cross-dressing film. Or a bi-sexual one. It happened so often I couldn’t help but notice it. Almost immediately, I began pulling these particular selections out, holding them up, and telling the customer I thought it was a good choice, one of my favorites, or some variation of that sort of sentiment. Sometimes it was actually true, but my goal was of course to let the customer know 1 )I’d seen the DVD and 2 )I was not judging them or displaying a negative reaction of any kind to their selection. And you know what? It worked! I watched customer after customer come in and stop with the bullshit attempt to bury their real choice in with a bunch of stuff they really didn’t care for. Men who were renting 5 straight films and 1 she-male started renting 6 she-male, and seemed to be standing up taller and walking with more confidence when they did it.

Cross-dressing is a big thing to many men, but they have absolutely no one in their life they can share their secret desire with. Nobody. So many men only got up the courage to do what they truly wanted to do, inside a porn shop, and I not only facilitated that, I spent my share of time helping them purchase lingerie that would actually look good on them. For some guys, it was just the feel of the clothing against their skin, and how it looked really didn’t matter, but I felt good adding that positive element to their experience. I also kept a list of phone numbers available so that she-male lovers could get a call from me when eager cross-dressing sluts were in my stores. I don’t know what would be worse; not having the courage to dress up and try to have some fun, or dressing up to have fun but having nobody to actually do anything with? I didn’t want anyone to leave the store unhappy if I could help it.

People into BDSM, and extreme activities in general, were also in the minority during the vast majority of the time I spent working in porn shops, so speaking with them about their wants, needs, and desires was also a very delicate and often serious business. You knew things nobody else knew about them, or if they had shared their secrets with others they’d been made to feel pretty bad about what they enjoyed. So many people came in hauling so much guilt and pressure with them, and I was very happy to relieve them of as much of it as I could. Let them at least verbally unburden, if not actually assist them in procuring a toy, implement or idea of where to head and what to do next to satisfy those cravings. Kinky people and their whips, cuffs and whatnot are still kind of the odd ones out in most porn shops. All other sexual activities are given more coverage and display space. You have to go to a shop that specializes in kinky toys, leather and fetish outfits, bondage gear, and so on to find something of value. And it’s likely you won’t find many porn shop clerks that know what a safe word is, the general rules and attitudes behind BDSM play, and all that. They know lube, dildos, sex pills and porn stars.]]> http://www.ruinouslove.com/blog/index.php?entry=entry120513-161553 2012-05-13T00:00:00Z 2012-05-13T00:00:00Z
Working at this particular business is something I’ve wanted to do ever since I met the owners during a bbq they hosted at their home. I knew immediately that they would be great bosses, and the fact was confirmed when I recently visited a few times and did that whole holding-the-sign-for-them gig. For some reason, they accidentally sent MY LOVE some information on an opening in their store, and after some wrong assumptions on my part I went ahead and applied for the job. Two interviews with people I already had excellent rapport with later, and I am officially hired and starting first thing Monday morning. This position will fill an immediate need, but will also allow me flexibility to do other things, like take those college classes I was talking about in a previous post. In other words, it’s not going to consume my life, or so much of my time that I can’t make some progress in some other areas, if I choose. MY LOVE is going to be super busy this year so I might as well be busy too. We can both earn the time we get to spend together and will doubly enjoy and appreciate it when it happens. I know right now, she is under a lot of stress, and want to ease some of that if I can. The fact is, there’s just so much I can do, and then it’s up to her to do the rest. She is apparently dealing with some very unfair situations, and shady people, and the only thing I can do for her is listen and maybe offer helpful advice or suggestions. She’s a smart, tough cunt, but gets low like the rest of us sometimes. I’m trying to think of what I can do for her/with her to help her unplug for a while.

There’ll still be plenty of posts, more “Porn Shop Reports”, pictures, and so on. Unlike trying to work graveyard shifts at bathhouses and porn shops, and have a life during the day too, this will be easy. Almost normal…

And before I go; Happy Mother’s Day to all you kinky Moms! MY LOVE is going to her mother’s house tomorrow to cook her brunch and spend some time with her. Hope everyone has a fantastic day!]]> http://www.ruinouslove.com/blog/index.php?entry=entry120512-180114 2012-05-13T00:00:00Z 2012-05-13T00:00:00Z

It is the middle of the afternoon, and quite warm outside, so I have the front door to the porn shop open. This is allowed because the building is a good thirty feet from the road, so it’s nearly impossible for anyone driving, biking or walking by on the sidewalk to really see inside. A person walking by in the parking lot, if he or she were to slow their gait considerably, could probably glimpse something offensive if they were trying really hard. Maybe. Anyways, that’s not important. I am standing on the outside of the glass cases, looking in as a customer would, to see if they need to be cleaned and reorganized, when a young lady that looks no older than 19 years old walks up to the front door pushing a stroller. From where I stood, the child did not look more than 3 years old, and if pressed to guess I would say he was more like 2. Without hesitation, the young mother parked the stroller right outside the door, stepped in, and approached the counter where I had just been standing. The child remained in the stroller, just outside the door. The young mother asked for, and I sold her, a box of whip cream chargers. That’s a polite way of saying I sold her 24 canisters of nitrous oxide, for roughly $20. She would later take these canisters, or “chargers”, and utilizing a “cracker” and a balloon inhale the nitrous and get high.

Maybe she had a lot of money to blow on things like this, but I highly doubt it. From what I recall, she looked like it was her last twenty-dollar bill. Part of me hesitated for a moment, and wanted to say something, but you often find your impressions of people are wrong, or they don’t appreciate you meddling in their life/personal business. We also sold pipes one would use to smoke marijuana with, a few substances that mimicked a mushroom high, a few more that mimicked the affects of marijuana, not to mention the pills for getting men and women in the mood, making their sex organs bigger, or getting them off. Drug sales were a big part of working in adult shops, but never more so than in recent years, and if I developed a problem selling them I was going to have a rough go working in the industry. When I first started, almost two decades ago, you couldn’t get anything stronger than an erection pill that was probably laden with things like ginseng and ginger, instead of whatever they put in them these days. I’m not saying they were more effective, because they weren’t, I’m just saying the business was 2% drug sales, and the rest novelty and videos, not 80% drug sales with the rest of the sales coming in through novelty and video sales. The synthetic marijuana is VERY popular because it doesn’t show up on drug tests, but people pay a ridiculous amount of money for it, and in the end they really don’t have a clue of what they are burning up and inhaling into their lungs. Not a clue.]]> http://www.ruinouslove.com/blog/index.php?entry=entry120510-172113 2012-05-11T00:00:00Z 2012-05-11T00:00:00Z
Bargain hunters were also frequent, and considering the average price of sex toys, anyone can understand why. A fifty-dollar bill won’t get you much these days, at least nothing that is of any real value. Some new technologies are fantastic, but sometimes the older the toy the more likely it’ll last for more than a month or two. There are trade offs, and bargain hunters who know a quality product from crap will check the “Sale” racks, show up only on sale days, and ask you for a discount every single time they do business with you. You can even tell them something specific, like “I can’t give discounts on pills” and they will conveniently forget this the next time they come in and buy pills from you. I can think of no other business where a person can ask for, and occasionally practically demand a discount, for no particular reason. Of course, if you know that every single product is marked up at least 300% you don’t feel bad asking for a break on the price.

The bargain hunters I had respect for were the ones that took what they purchased and turned it into sex toys of their own creation. Some high-quality motors and materials were salvaged and put to good use this way, and I remember one or two particular customers that liked to bring their inventions in and show them off to clerks that weren’t too put off by the idea of having used sex toys brought into the store and plopped down on the counter.

That’s enough of these specific posts for a while. I’m not going to stop talking about porn shops, the people that frequent them, or the crazy things that can happen to them, I’m just going to quit describing types/kinds of people for a while and move on to something else. Stay tuned for the next installment of “Porn Shop Reports”.]]> http://www.ruinouslove.com/blog/index.php?entry=entry120509-172843 2012-05-10T00:00:00Z 2012-05-10T00:00:00Z

My recent visit to the Art Institute of Portland did not end as I had hoped, but it does not mean that I have given up on taking a few classes and gaining some knowledge. It just means I’ll have to do it somewhere else.

I have been granted a sum of money by the government, to put towards further schooling, but it would only cover a fourth of the costs linked to attending Art Institute. By the end of my 3 to 4 years I would owe close to $40,000 from loans. I don’t think I want to be over 40 years old, with that kind of newly acquired debt. I’ll take advantage of the generous government money, go to some community college classes, and then use that knowledge to move forward. Portland Community College is celebrating 50 years this month, and they have some fabulous and affordable options I plan on taking advantage of.

Learning is something we could all use a bit more of these days. I hope that attending classes will help me focus, benefit my business, possibly benefit MY LOVE in hers, assist me in establishing a bit more structure in my life, stimulate my creative processes, and so on. I’m certainly going to take any business and advertising classes that I think would benefit me, but also hope to delve into music and possibly media. Once I get started, I’ll just start soaking it up.

As you know, I quit the DJ gig for WTNRradio, and have gone to great lengths to update our clips stores over the last couple weeks. Ends aren’t being met around here, on my end, so I am also taking on a job that will guarantee a regular, reliable paycheck. Hopefully I can use what I learn at school to get me stable enough to pull out of the workforce/rat race and back to doing my own thing in good time. Before I even try to release any more music, or writings, I need to learn a bit more about what I’m trying to do. That seems like the smart thing at this point. I really don’t want to work for someone, helping make them money, when I can maybe spend my time doing it for myself. Realizing that I am only getting older, and that the adult movies are definitely not the answer, I want to rely on my writing and music making skills to carry me to the next level. Right now though, I have to set pipe dreams aside and start paying my half of the bills.

Enrollment for school is close to the end of the month. I should know whether or not I have a job by the end of the week. In the meantime, I’ll go back to the “Porh Shop Reports” and blab about anything else I think will keep you interested. And don’t forget, there are still tons of sexy Gordon Denman photos to go through...]]> http://www.ruinouslove.com/blog/index.php?entry=entry120508-182202 2012-05-09T00:00:00Z 2012-05-09T00:00:00Z
The Disappearing Customer was an interesting phenomenon that I encountered at every single adult shop I ever worked at. This is a person, male or female, that I would somehow lose track of in the store. I wouldn’t see them leave, but couldn’t find them anywhere in the building, so they must have escaped through a secret portal in the DVD aisles, or a trap door back in the viewing area. In some instances, I could probably blame this on lack of sleep, as I was often a graveyard shift worker who would zone/pass out, but that can’t be the reason for it happening every time. I still vividly recall a night I watched a gentleman walk back into the DVD rental area to browse for something to rent or purchase. There was no way out of that particular area, except the way you went in, yet I don’t recall seeing him come back out and exit the building. I must have A) gone to the bathroom, but couldn’t remember it, and that’s when he left, or B) fallen asleep and he walked out while I sat there, totally out of it. Believe me, I had my share of moments where I woke up to find a customer standing right in front of me, at the counter. Graveyard shifts for years really fucked me up…

Cheap Boyfriends and Bargain Hunters were aplenty in all the establishments I worked at. To read more about them, tune in for the next episode of “Porn Shop Reports”. ]]> http://www.ruinouslove.com/blog/index.php?entry=entry120507-181233 2012-05-08T00:00:00Z 2012-05-08T00:00:00Z

www.wtnrradio.com/dj.php?dj=K

Last Saturday was supposed to be my final broadcast for WTNRradio. I uploaded my 1 Year Anniversary/last show and then sent an email message telling them I was no longer available. That means that, as of this writing, the people who own/run WTNR have had a week to at least respond to my message. I haven’t heard a single word from anyone.

This is actually not surprising. With the exception of when I first started to DJ for them, communications have been sparse to non-existent. I once had to basically threaten to quit to get one of the assholes to write to me. As I’ve mentioned, I’m not getting paid for this, so I guess it’s their prerogative if they want to ignore the talent that runs the site. That’s not why I quit in the first place, but it certainly made doing so that much easier. Working for people who don’t give a shit about you is a situation I’ve always found it easy to walk away from.

So a week has gone by, and I expected my profile and archive to be taken down by now. For the last couple of days I’ve been working on the music for the “Sensations Play Party”, which takes place tonight, so I decided I’d share a dose of the music I put together for that with you, one last time. It’s all Industrial, Dark Electronic, Rock, Dubstep, Trip Hop, Dance, etc. but if you’re into that kind of music it’s one of the best mixes I’ve ever put together. This is probably your last chance to hear my DJ skills for a while, so give it a listen while you can…]]> http://www.ruinouslove.com/blog/index.php?entry=entry120505-092416 2012-05-05T00:00:00Z 2012-05-05T00:00:00Z
The Customer Who Shares Too Much is the kind of guy (I’ll say guy because I’ve yet to encounter a woman who shared too much) who realizes he has a captive audience and is going to exploit it for all it’s worth. He will get very graphic and will often ignore obvious hints and indications that what he is sharing is not welcome. Unfortunately I had at least one gentleman get this way with me at the last porn shop I worked at, and I had to resort to bluntly telling him I didn’t want to hear what he had to say anymore. I believe my exact words were, “I don’t know what I said to you that made you think I wanted you to share the details of your sex life, or what goes on when you go back into the arcade, but I would appreciate it if you’d stop. I don’t need to hear that sort of thing.” The poor guy indicated he understood and then left shortly after, but thankfully I didn’t completely ruin the porn shop experience for him. I welcomed him back several times and he never shared another detail of his exciting and potentially disease-ridden sex-capades. Hooray!

The Person Buying A Sex Toy For His or Her Friend/Wife/Girlfriend/Buddy/Boyfriend/Lover/As a Joke usually isn’t. I’ll elaborate in the next installment of “Porn Shop Reports”.]]> http://www.ruinouslove.com/blog/index.php?entry=entry120504-193502 2012-05-05T00:00:00Z 2012-05-05T00:00:00Z
The Pretend Customer is a person who comes in with a single purpose (let’s say a man coming into the store to go back to the video booths and jack off/suck off a stranger/get his dick sucked through a hole in the wall/whatever) but pretends they are there for much more. They will walk through the video section and look at quite a few titles, peruse the magazines, take a few sex toys off their hooks and look at them, stop by the pipe and bong case and then, just when you turn away for a moment to wipe down a glass countertop, will suddenly vanish into the viewing area. Once there, they will do what they came into the store to do, and then suddenly, when you least expect it, they will reappear and resume browsing through the store. A quick walk by the lubricant display, a stop near the novelty/joke area and then they will finally make their way back to the DVD section, where they will once again look at what the store has to offer as if they intended to rent or purchase something. They will make their way back to the very last set of shelves, that are a few feet away from the door, and if you watch them on camera they will oh so obviously look across the room to see if you are watching them, then turn and make a dash for the exit. This behavior was not uncommon where I worked. I can think of at least five separate men that did this often enough that I recognized them. They would do the same thing – just about run the same circuit through the store – every time they came in. My best guess is’ they don’t want the clerk to think that they are coming in to just use the arcade (that’s what we call the viewing area where the video booths and glory holes are). It’s that simple. Why they think the clerks would care, or why they would care what the clerks think is beyond me, but I never pulled one of these guys aside and asked them what compelled them to go through the charade. Maybe I could have freed one of them from whatever their anxiety was…

The Customer Who Brought Friends Along Who Do Not Like Porn Shops were also fascinating. It was often a guy who would bring a small group of his pals with him to purchase something, NOT of a sexual nature. Maybe a glass pipe, or something neutral like that. There were invariably a great deal of ignorant comments made that had to be addressed, and a whole lot of giggling and noises of discomfort in general to deal with. I had one customer who came in to buy what is basically a legal form of marijuana, and he always had a new group in tow. They’d spend a lot of time in the video section laughing and gasping in discomfort and disgust at the titles and the pictures on the covers. These friends were always eager to leave, and I was happy to see them go. Light, occasional laughing is okay but nervous laughter is obvious, and it makes other people in the store that hear it also feel nervous. Plus it’s just fucking annoying. I realize the titles of some of the movies can be funny but I’ve never seen anything particularly hilarious about a dildo, strap-on, vibrator, penis pump, etc. Which leads me to the next kind of customer…

The People Who Think Everything They See Is Funny should get laid, buy a vibrator, have an orgasm, watch a movie or whatever is necessary to get themselves comfortable with their surrounding while in a porn shop. Read about these people in my next installment of “Porn Shop Reports”…]]> http://www.ruinouslove.com/blog/index.php?entry=entry120503-175618 2012-05-04T00:00:00Z 2012-05-04T00:00:00Z